The DOOR IN A POOL!
by OfFiCiAl.TwIlIgHtEr
Summary: Ok. So... really funny. I hope. Bella is a vampire. Edward knocked a door in a pool. Just read. Kind of stupid also...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** These are all based off of inside jokes, so I'll try to explain them all. Some, you'll just have to use your imaginations for, so if you have an awful imagination, too bad.

And just so you don't get confused, we are going to say that _Bella is a vampire_ and they are at college. I may have her remember what happens later, but for now just go along with it please.

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I own nothing. Maybe one day, but sigh not today. T/\T

**Edward POV**

"EDWARD?! WHY IS THERE A DOOR IN THE POOL?!" Bella looked really freaked out. Then she started looking for humans. Luckily, there were none here yet.

"Well, you see. It all started this morning…" I proceeded to tell Bella how I was trying to get into the Drama room, when the door wouldn't open. So I tried to push on it a little, but I guess I overestimated the amount of pressure I was putting on the door, because suddenly it flew out of my hand.

"GOD, EDWARD! You shot it through **3 ½ **freakin' rooms!" The thing that upset me most about the whole situation was the way Bella made it somehow sound like a criminal offense.

"Wow. 3 ½? How'd you manage that one Edward? I "saw you doing this, but I didn't see exactly how far it went." Obviously while Bella and I were thinking about the problem Alice had come up behind us.

Then Bella said, "Well, the whole first ½ of the room is GONE!"

How will I ever live this one down? I somehow can't see Alice ever letting me forget this. The next century or so will be torture, especially when Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie find out. They've been waiting for me to do something like this for a long time.

"Wait. But, Edward, I distinctly remember telling you this morning that the handle turns the other way. Why don't you ever listen? That was really good advice I gave." Now I remembered. Earlier that day, before she had walked off, Alice had thought "Don't forget, the handle turns the other way." Like I was supposed to remember something random like that.

"Well maybe you could've warned me about it." Then a thought hit me (**A/N:** this is a- sort of- hint for what will happen in a future chapter) "Wait, you knew that even if you told me, I still would've done this didn't you?!"

Alice just got that evil little smile that warns of mischief, whipped out her cell phone, and started walking away. Vampire speed.

Ok, I know it was bad, it's my first. So, the story behind this is that my friends (Golden Fantasies, Princessnightshade, and the last one we shall call Itachi for now) were actually trying to get into a Drama Room, but the door was locked. So, being the Edward obsessed freaks they are, started thinking, "It would be really funny if Edward was trying this and sent the door all the way into the pool. So then I decided to make a fanfic out of it. I really hope you like it. And whether you like it or not, there will be more coming. /\


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I know the 1st chapter was SUPER short, and I'm sorry. I PROMISE to make them all longer from now on. ;-p YAY for more inside jokes!!! I'm really sorry I haven't updated recently, but I haven't had any inspiration for an interesting story… But this one is almost pure random-ness and also the after-effect of "Heidi" and me sitting in then gym being bored. … Yeah… I have really random, but fun friends. And in this I _will_ be calling myself Caius and Anna will be Heidi. 1. Those are some names we've started referring to ourselves as & responding to (sort of). 2. It makes everything MUCH funnier.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything. Not Naruto, Twilight,  Artemis Fowl, the Akatsuki, the Cullens, the Volturi, the werewolf pack, or any other random people in this. But I _do_ own this story (sort of) and the awesome music I listen to while I write it. XP

xXxXxXx

Heidi and I were sitting in the empty gym talking about things that had been happening in our little city recently. Friends, enemies, stuff like that. Like any other middle school kids, we had things we like, hate and love.

This day would bring a weird combination of the three. But mostly just things in the like and/or love categories. Although we had no idea of what was coming in just a few minutes.

About 5 minutes after lunch.

I was laughing like a lunatic for absolutely no reason at all (**Heidi #1 was trying to sleep**) when suddenly the wall at the back of the gym blasted forward.

That set us off laughing again (**wow. It's almost like we're… **_** idiots**_**… wow…**) for no apparent reason other than the fact that the paint hanging off the walls fell down, even the stuff we were too short to reach.

But then we realized it might be smart to see who had just almost hit us with a flying wall.

"OMC! HEIDI!"

"WHAT?!" Both of the Heidi's looked really annoyed. Heidi… Heidi #1 we shall call her (**our Heidi.**)… may have been annoyed because she had almost been asleep. The other Heidi just looked pissed off (**for no reason that we knew about… promise…**).

"Heidi!" Then I pointed at Heidi #2 (**Volturi Heidi**) and they just looked at each other for a few seconds, then said hi and went back to doing whatever it was they had been doing before.

Then Aro, Marcus, and Caius walked into the "door" they had made. And they were arguing. How do I know this? Marcus was actually showing expression. Although I'd rather not see Marcus angry instead of apathetic. Then we could hear what they were saying. It was something like this:

Aro: It's not my fault! Carlisle didn't tell me where he lived. And neither did Edward or Alice.

Marcus: You really think I care?! We're stuck in this _human_ city, with bright daylight outside, nowhere to go, and even if we did, we have no way to get there, do we?

Aro: Yeah! I've got the tickets right here! -goes through a bag that has seemingly come from nowhere- Huh. Well, that's weird…

Caius: Aro? What is it? And where are the tickets?! _Please_ don't tell me you forgot them.

Aro: Well… that's weird. I was sure they were right here before…

Jane: Uh, Master? I believe you gave the tickets to Felix to hold whe-

Everyone else (**except for Aro, Felix, and Jane**): YOU DID WHAT?! You do realize he probably left them in Volterra, or something, right?!

That was when they noticed us. Of course, we had been kind of surprised when a group of vampires walked into our school gym and started arguing about plane tickets, but when we saw their eyes we were just a _tiny bit_ scared of them. Mostly due to the fact that almost all of them were hungry.

That was when (WTF?!) the Cullens came in through the door across the gym from us, the farthest place they could possibly be from the Volturi in a space like this.

"Wonderful! Carlisle! I never thought you'd be here, of all places!" (insert clapping hands).

"Well, Aro, we were just taking a trip, you know, looking for new places to live, that kind of thing…. By the way, why are you here? I thought you never left Volterra anymore?"

Then Caius spoke up. "Well you know, seeing the same thing gets tiring after a few millennia, and we also came- sort of- to see you, Carlisle."

xXxXxXx

Wwhheeee!!! I had fun with this one! In the next one I _think_ I'll be putting the Akatsuki and werewolves in here somewhere. If you have any suggestions for future chapters, I'd love to hear them. Yeah. Bella's a human in this one, I think. I'm still not sure. Should she be a vampire or a human? Only you can decide. Because, knowing myself, I'd probably either write it with both or just not continue until I decided, which could take quite a long time.

Once again, every reader's worst nightmare. The plea for reviews. I know you get tired of this, I know I do, but really people. It doesn't even have to be a real sentence.


	3. Author's Note

Yeah, I know might sound kinda weird, but I think it's time to make this necessary, don't you? I'm ashamed to say that I've totally run out of ideas. You will get full credit and a great big pat on the back. Or you can give me an idea and I'll write it out myself. You'll still get full credit, but I'll tell everyone I wrote it… unless you want credit, of course.

PM, put it in a review, or however you want, just send it to me.

I can't think of any new inside jokes to put in, but if you have any good ideas, well that would be very helpful. Okay, now I'm being forced to go eat. Later.

Thanks,

Me


End file.
